So i think i'm starting to fall in love with Japan....their culture, politics, art, fashion, life style fascinates & inspires me...i think i should really book a flight to Tokyo or maybe Kyoto, i even find the name yummylicious.
I adore the geisha's and their kimono's they look adorable, has anyone ever seen a noh performance??? its super cool apparently its been in existence since the 14th century... and has anyone heard the pop band j-pop funny stuff, but its cute lol and who can forget the sumo wrestlers lol u have to admit that is just a funny and seriously unnecessary sport lol but thats their thing, their architecture, even their tea ceremony, their haiku's (poem's) and the fact they have their own vogue??? yuuup they do. what most people don't realise is that Japan is actually a force in the fashion industry, it first made its big debut in the fashion world in 1982 when 12 Japanese designers showed their collection in the paris pret-a-porter shows...
now think Elie Saab S/S 09 that was Japanese insipired, besides designers looking to them for inspiration they are some wonderful japanses designers - Issie Miyake, Kenzo, Hanae Mori etc their style Japonaiserie - made a big impact on contemporary fashion - their use of inventive shapes and monochrome tones, particularly the use of black - i have a love/hate relationship with the colour - they have become trend setters and yeah they are have nothing on the italians and the french but they are designers in their own right. google - Keita Maruyama - great stuff
what i think i really love about japan, is the way they are so modern but hold on tightly to their traditions, its amazing the way they do.
im going to leave you with some amazing pics of japanese things that inspire/fascinate me
LV shoot fot Japanese Vogue, very futuroid chanel pret-a-porter show in tokyo (i love chanel)
the title is wosaaaah because today was theraputic.
before i start, i want to say thank you to the wonderful people in my life. and no this does not include any member of my family because they are pissing me off atm, yes everyone single one of them. this is directed at one of the most wonderful friends in the world..luu, she really is an amazing person and im so happy that i have her in my life. i love her too much even when she shouts at me lol i still love her, she's been a rock for some time now, so yeah im basically saying thank you for being there. and to uzo, thank you for listening to all my ramblings and frustrations and weird reasonings and questions and rationalising things with me.
so today was an amazing day, i had the bestest time with my girlies (nixx and mel), we went camden and i discovered an amazing up &coming japanese designer, he sells great tshirts and i fell in love with lace in this real pretty japanese lady's store.
so lately i've been reading about Japan...a lot and it's so amazing, im planning a holiday there soon, their art, culture, fashion oh the fashion is soo amazing. i wont digress too much.
anyone who reads this blog will know that i have been fighting some serious inner battles lately, and i will tell you this shit hasn't been easy lol, but im happy now, like i've had this stupid smile on my face all day its ridiculous.
i love learning, i learn from everything, people, experiences, places, food, anything i learn from it. so when shit like this happens i take it as a learning experience. i see it as a chance for me to grow and for me to be a better person.
i'm not sure i want to talk about the reason for the hurt, but someone hurt me really badly and as luu will say "theres no harm in making mistakes" lol. im starting to believe that, i think im starting to enjoy the mistakes i've made in my life, because you see i'm a very stubborn person and i guess i have to experience something to truly learn from it. i am very inquisitive, i wont stop till i get the answers i want/need so i guess thats the reason for this.
trying to get answers to why my heart was crumbling was the reason for the battles, i tried to understand logically what had happend, i wanted to know when things changed, i wanted to know how they changed without me realising, i just wanted answers and i got them, last night lol
i was supposed to come back to talk to luu last night but i had dishes to wash and then i started thinking about stuff and then i got carried away talking to my cuzzy and somehow i slept, sorry for leaving you hanging yesterday luu lol.
so i realised that it all went wrong because i had only listened. words. i have learnt that words can't do shit for me and i dont like them. i really honestly don't like words, i need to see you do what you say you mean. i need to stop listening and start seeing &feeling.
words are empty, if you want me to believe you, i need to feel what you are saying. don't tell me things you think i want to hear, its not a nice thing. i prefer raw unadulterated honesty i can handle it.
i watched the best man last night, and i cried myself to sleep after. i've watched this movie at least a 30 times, no lie, but i never really got it till last night. it really is a beautiful movie and it made me realise something important.
lately i've been thinking hard, real hard which is never ever a good thing with me. and i've concluded that the situation i'm in...well it sucks, really sucks.
yesterday someone sent me a song, she said it reminded her of me, i didn't really like the song but i got the message.. "breaking these chains" thats what it said to me. this week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, i went from sad to happy back to sad then to indifferent and now just really really sad.
so i decided i can't live like this anymore, i can't hope pray wish for something to happen even if it may happen. i don't like woulda-coulda-shoulda's so i never hope pray wish for anything, i never look to see what the future will-should-can-may hold for me. but for once i did and it was a mistake, a very big mistake.
my friend says everything happens for a reason, im not sure i believe that. i learnt this week 1. never to rely on people 2. never rely on someone else to make you happy 3. loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you 4. to stop being the idiot i've been 5. when doubts start to creep in, you MUST let go
im one of those people that believe love &heartbreak come together, i don't believe they are seperate, i believe that at some point in your life, someone you love will hurt you, it doesn't have to be something overwhelming, it could be the most trifling thing in the world but because you love, it hurts.
its wonderful to love, i love being in love, i love loving its the most wonderful feeling. its kind, its patient, its understanding, its forgiving, its sweet, its loyal, its supportive, its tolerant, its respectful.
but when it hurts. you feel like your world has just come crashing down. you feel so lost, so alone, everything is distorted, its not as it should be. you are left broken, damaged and you are all alone to pick up the pieces - that i think is the worst feeling ever.
i embrace both.
when i watched the best man last night, i saw what love for what it really is, i saw that no matter how many times someone fucks up, if they still love you and you them, you shouldn't give up on them. i saw that fucking up should not destroy something, it should only make you realise how special what you have is, and how much you should preserve it. i saw what woulda-coulda-shoulda type of love for what it was, it doesn't allow you to give yourself 100% to another, it prevents you from seeing whats right in front of you, even if in your mind you think its perfect, its not, because nothing is perfect.
this is the kind of love that is dangerous. it may end up being the wonderful feeling you want it to be. but the truth is that life happens and with life comes change, its inevitable, people change, things change, and when they do, that love will change. so hoping praying wishing for something that has changed is never sensible, its like hoping to go back in time.
so this is the question i've been asking all week, how do you when its the right time to let go? i figured when things change, let go, when you doubt, let go, when it doesn't feel right, its not right, so let go.
letting go is not very easy. i think its one of the hardest things ever. but in time everything will be fine. even if i know its true, i find it hard to believe.
but this is the battle i've been fighting with myself all weekend, i went out thursday night with a couple of the girlies, it was a lovely night. but then the thinking started. it went back and forth between religion &relationships. this is a story for another day lol its unhealthy really because i think im more confused than ever. i will not digress.
...live for the moment, never again will i hope-pray-wish for anything again. i'm not saying i don't have goals, aspirations, wants, desires but i will create as many paths as i can to get them, but thats just me, i don't like rules, i dont like restrictions.
so i finished my exams today.super excited but i'm a lil sad today...i should be sleeping but i think i have insomia...like i havent slept in two days and today i've tried everything.i even washed my hair at 3.40 am so i could feel relaxed but nothing seems to be working *sigh* oh well.
lately i've been thinking mark ronson is such a hottie, like for real he sooo is yuuuumy...i've had his album - version - on repeat for a couple of days now...he is so talented.love love him. you should totally get that album if you don't have it. the only weird thing about him is that he's related to sam ronson (yes linsday's ex she boyfrend..i know strange) *shivers* thats so creepy, i can't imagine how they have the same mami & papi and she is so, well fucking weird lol. ok enough of the randomness.
<< mark ronson
now for the purpose of this post...the treat..the amazingness that is CHRISTOPHER BAILEY!!!
Like for real he is one of my inspirations so when i saw this on selectism i just had to share. He is one of the most talented designers ever - i'm into the whole simple chic basic but oozing with luxury look (dunno if u get what i mean lol) , that's my thing and he never disappoints, especially those yuumy trench coats.... for anyone who doesn't know who he is (seriously doubt that lol) he is creative designer of burberry..which means he basically runs the whole show...designing for all of burberry's collection lines, ad campaigns, creative direction etc... what i love most about him is that he seems so humble and i'm not a big fan of burberry, but the transformation that he has done there in the eight years he worked for them, its nothing short of amazing, like burberry used to be dull with all the plaid nonsense lol, but now its just simple.nice.chic.luxurious - the perfect basic collection.
so check out the behind the scenes for the A/W 2009 Burberry Prorsum campaign. Photographer: Mario Testino Designed by: duuuh Christopher Bailey Star of the campaign: Actress - Emma Watson Location: Westminster
This campaign already looks so fabulous like it has most my favourite things ever...B&W, male models, trench coats, christopher bailey...
...genocide, ethnic cleasing call it anything you want but this is just disgusting, as if the genocide in Bosnia, Rwanda and Cambodia aren't reason enough for everyone to know what happens when we leave all the situations until its to late - SMH I feel deeply for the suffering going on in Darfur and I feel we (the whole world) owes it to them to help in any way we can.
This whole situation started in 2003 when a region - Darfur(comprised mostly of black people) decided it had, had enough of the neglect from the government and decided that they wanted a greater share in politcal power and for the government to address their poor living standards. And as most fucked up military governments will act they decide oh why don't we just get the army to kill off these muthafuckers who are interfering with our fucked up way of ruling rather than face other regions (also being neglected) rise up and try to challenge our governace - they called it a rebellion - I call it demanding their rights.
So far nearly half a million people have been killed, a further 2.5 million displaced. There has been mass execution, women being raped in front of their loved ones, men chained together and thrown into burning huts etc all this is by an arab militia sponsored and supported by the governement their job - to kill of the black people in Darfur, isn't this hatred surpassing the level of the KKK and all other weirdos who needed to kill black people to make them feel better about themselves.
Personaly i think the extent of the damage done is worse, when aid is not allowed and people will rather risk loosing their lives by leaving refugee camps because of lack of food to go back to where they will most likely be killed to get food, you have to know something is seriously wrong.
I don't think we need anymore evidence that these people are suffering at the hands of greedy hateful bastards and sadly, we are doing nothing about it. I am so annoyed by this, labeling it the 'worst humanitarian crisis in the world today' doesn't do shit, its not a fucking humanitarian crisis its fucking genocide, i swear on that stupid list that the UN has on genocide and ways to prevent at stage - denial - thats when we (international community) are supposed to react and do something about it so I don't see why the whole world is just watching while this shit happen. (wiki it if you don't know what I'm talking about)
This is why when scientist research into stuff just to come out with random ridiculousness like black people are just genetically dumb, its in our DNA bla bla bla, I'm like is that really important to know (not that I accept it) but even if it was true how the fuck does that solve the problems in the world. Instead of using their research to find how to make better nuclear bombs to threaten the sudan gov into abondoning their crazy genocide antics they are using it to express how much they want to degrade black people, really what is wrong with the world?? - i swear i think scientists need a shrink or rehab or something to save them from this unhealthy attitude.
(Ignore the typo and any other errors, I was on a 30 mins break from studying - I have 2 exams on fri - wish me luck&& pray for me lol) Oh and sorry for the pic, it makes me sad every time i see it.
This morning on my way to school I started thinking of marriage and the one, mostly because I read this book yesterday - Tell Me Something Adele Parks - beautiful read.
Who is this 'the one' is this someone who you are so emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with, someone who is your all, someone who you can't live without, someone who you need.want.desire, someone who is there for you, someone who is your partner is everything??? is it possible that only one person in the entire world with its 6.77 billion population, to me that just sounds silly.
I think that we are somehow restricted to who we marry, the people we meet, the people we see, the people we grow up with, work with, go to school with, somehow one of them ends up being our wive's/hubby's. But are these people 'the one' or do we just settle for the next best thing. What if you live somewhere in a jungle, in some place in Africa and your 'the one' is some muslim girl, in some middle eastern desert who has already been bethrowed to some alhaji?? how do you marry this 'the one'
I think this idiocity that everyone is chasing, hoping and praying for, that they find 'the one' who will automatically make their lives so much better is absolute rubbish. Just like a lot of things to me its a myth. I believe that we have control over who we date/marry..I understand when people say oh the have to be emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with whoever they marry, I get that because I feel the same way
What I don't believe in is 'the one' I don't believe that out of the billions of people on earth we only have one soulmate
I know exactly what I want in a man& i will never settle If and when I get married it has to be because I have found someone perfect for me I will not say I will be married forever, because there are no gurantees in life He might fuck up.I might fuck up.We might grow apart&if we do, I am not afraid of a divorce
&if he was 'the one' what do I do??
He wouldn't be 'the one'.He would have been someone perfect for me.But he's gone.So I will get up, cry, get my shit together,and live without him again, because before him I did it without him.
I think I can make whoever I choose to be what I want. I don't think there is the one. I do think I can find someone perfect for me.and if he leaves.I can always find another someone perfect for me. In eseence there is no the one, to me there are 'so many others'
...that's what this playlist is called. I'm so frustrated today, haven't really been to school much in the past 3 weeks so I have a lot of cathcing up to do, and the work is drowning me so music is where I find solace..here's the playlist
Picture Perfect - Adreena Mills Slow - Jamie Foxx Like a Star - Corrine Bailey Rae Heartbreaker - Tank Best I Ever Had - Drake Kleptomaniac - Brutha A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz So beautiful - Musiq Soulchild Chasing Pavements - Adele She's Not You - Raheem Devaughn Birthday Sex - Jeremiah Bang Bang - Brutha Freakin' Me - Jamie Foxx ft Marsha Ambrosuis Violet Stars Happy Hunting - Janelle Monae Sweetest Taboo - Sade Disappear - Beyonce Coyotes - Jason Mraz Please Don't Stop The Rain - James Morrison Be On You - Flo Rida ft.Ne Yo Right Round - Flo Rida Give It To Me Right - Melaine Fiona The Way You Make Me Feel - MJ Angel - Game ft. Common
What are you listening to? Let me Know..
Check out this band - Tinawiren if you are into blues and guitar playing that sort of thing...i found them while watching inside africa on cnn lol
I am going to do so many throwback moments from now on lol. I just found an old old picture album and the pictures are HILLARIOUS lol but I won't post the too embarrassing one's, actually scratch that I might just do that.
Yeah so throwback moment - I'll start from...my earliest scary moment.
My excuse for the picture is that I was young an naive lol...so I looked for the best pic to match the throwback moment and here it is *drumrolls please*
Thats me and puffin and thelittle person there is wahala inc. (lol thats my special name for her cuz i swear that girl is trouble), we were about 7ish 8ish in this
I was about 7 I think when I watched this movie Nneka, fuck! I'm even still scared talking about it now (does anyone remember that movie??) - the part that scared the crap out of me was the part when the cat turned into a woman in front of car *defining moment of my life* ever since then my faith in God has been unshackable - I was scared outta my mind after that movie for about a year >> I was scared to go upstairs by myself, stay anywhere by myslef, sleep in my bed (constatnt companion on mammi and papi's bed) to be honest I'm still scared. And second scariest bit..when she was walking on the beach lol and saying Tony! Tony! Tony! like whoever wrote the scripts damn that's all I'm saying.
With a throwback memory comes a throwback song, one of my favourite oldies Give it up for Etta James (gottta love that woman)
I don't have body insecurities, I'm happy the way I am. I'm petite and happy lol I don't wish to be taller, I don't wish to be fatter (anymore) so I don't take offence when people say omg your so small.
I don't work out I don't eat right Never liked fruits&Never will I will only drink orange juice (mostly because my mum used to ram it down my throat when I was younger) Most unhealthy person I know I rarely drink water I'm mostly have junk food over cooked food I love my greasy fried food I will not substitute my eating habits for a healthier one
I guess I'm one of those lucky fuckers that whatever they eat somehow doesn't show and trust me I am a big eater (not always been one but im reformed now and iLove food)
But today's post is about some stupid ignorant heffer who couldn't keep his mouth shut that got me all annoyed this wonderful sunday afternoon
He's always referred to my tummy as fat (it is not) this comment has only slightly annoyed me before now i just took as as a flippant-nothing-to-say-so-I'll-comment-about your-tummy-kinda comment but with the extra "..you know I would prefer it slimmer..." pissed me the fuck off.
You know what else took the piss he dropped the "...i want to make it mine" like oh lawdy lord, if not for puffin I'm sure I would have said somethings I would regret.
Even if he was my man does that give him the right to tell me that??? especially when it's not?? I am not one of those people that take comments to heart but this one pissed me off..cuz I was thinking ok so maybe you like me and in your weird twisted retarted way of thinking you think if I go out with you, my body becomes yours?? is that line of thought even logical, legal?? Note at this point I don't even like him so you must know how irritating I found this comment.
I don't think anyone would understand how the foolishness out of this boys mouth got on my nerves. I am me, I don't like people telling me what to do, even my parents, I do what I do when&how I want to. I don't ask for permission to do anything, never will. I am me just me, so for someone to make a stupid comment about my body and how they would prefer it......oh gosh I don't want to ramble on but this is a notice to everyone
I am no one's property..never have&never will be I am my own If I do get married I will still be my own I look how I look because God made me that way I am what I am because I allow myself to be that way Never ever tell me how you would prefer me to look because God help me It only takes four muscles for me to bitch slap you upside your head and trust me I will
