Sunday, 28 June 2009

Japan Inspired

So i think i'm starting to fall in love with Japan....their culture, politics, art, fashion, life style fascinates & inspires me...i think i should really book a flight to Tokyo or maybe Kyoto, i even find the name yummylicious.

I adore the geisha's and their kimono's they look adorable, has anyone ever seen a noh performance??? its super cool apparently its been in existence since the 14th century... and has anyone heard the pop band j-pop funny stuff, but its cute lol and who can forget the sumo wrestlers lol u have to admit that is just a funny and seriously unnecessary sport lol but thats their thing, their architecture, even their tea ceremony, their haiku's (poem's) and the fact they have their own vogue??? yuuup they do. what most people don't realise is that Japan is actually a force in the fashion industry, it first made its big debut in the fashion world in 1982 when 12 Japanese designers showed their collection in the paris pret-a-porter shows...

now think Elie Saab S/S 09 that was Japanese insipired, besides designers looking to them for inspiration they are some wonderful japanses designers - Issie Miyake, Kenzo, Hanae Mori etc their style Japonaiserie - made a big impact on contemporary fashion - their use of inventive shapes and monochrome tones, particularly the use of black - i have a love/hate relationship with the colour - they have become trend setters and yeah they are have nothing on the italians and the french but they are designers in their own right. google - Keita Maruyama - great stuff

what i think i really love about japan, is the way they are so modern but hold on tightly to their traditions, its amazing the way they do.

im going to leave you with some amazing pics of japanese things that inspire/fascinate me

LV shoot fot Japanese Vogue, very futuroid

chanel pret-a-porter show in tokyo (i love chanel)

Yohji Yamamoto for Doc Martin - Designer

Should i get that for my tat??

Issie Miyake - Designer

Comme des Garcons - Designer

Hanae Mori - Designer

Noh - Traditional Japanese Theatre

Sumo Wrestling - National Sport

J-Pop Japans #1 band

what do you find fascinating now?

Tuesday, 23 June 2009


the title is wosaaaah because today was theraputic.

before i start, i want to say thank you to the wonderful people in my life. and no this does not include any member of my family because they are pissing me off atm, yes everyone single one of them. this is directed at one of the most wonderful friends in the world..luu, she really is an amazing person and im so happy that i have her in my life. i love her too much even when she shouts at me lol i still love her, she's been a rock for some time now, so yeah im basically saying thank you for being there. and to uzo, thank you for listening to all my ramblings and frustrations and weird reasonings and questions and rationalising things with me.

so today was an amazing day, i had the bestest time with my girlies (nixx and mel), we went camden and i discovered an amazing up &coming japanese designer, he sells great tshirts and i fell in love with lace in this real pretty japanese lady's store.

so lately i've been reading about Japan...a lot and it's so amazing, im planning a holiday there soon, their art, culture, fashion oh the fashion is soo amazing. i wont digress too much.

anyone who reads this blog will know that i have been fighting some serious inner battles lately, and i will tell you this shit hasn't been easy lol, but im happy now, like i've had this stupid smile on my face all day its ridiculous.

i love learning, i learn from everything, people, experiences, places, food, anything i learn from it. so when shit like this happens i take it as a learning experience. i see it as a chance for me to grow and for me to be a better person.

i'm not sure i want to talk about the reason for the hurt, but someone hurt me really badly and as luu will say "theres no harm in making mistakes" lol. im starting to believe that, i think im starting to enjoy the mistakes i've made in my life, because you see i'm a very stubborn person and i guess i have to experience something to truly learn from it. i am very inquisitive, i wont stop till i get the answers i want/need so i guess thats the reason for this.

trying to get answers to why my heart was crumbling was the reason for the battles, i tried to understand logically what had happend, i wanted to know when things changed, i wanted to know how they changed without me realising, i just wanted answers and i got them, last night lol

i was supposed to come back to talk to luu last night but i had dishes to wash and then i started thinking about stuff and then i got carried away talking to my cuzzy and somehow i slept, sorry for leaving you hanging yesterday luu lol.

so i realised that it all went wrong because i had only listened. words. i have learnt that words can't do shit for me and i dont like them. i really honestly don't like words, i need to see you do what you say you mean. i need to stop listening and start seeing &feeling.

words are empty, if you want me to believe you, i need to feel what you are saying.
don't tell me things you think i want to hear, its not a nice thing. i prefer raw unadulterated honesty i can handle it.

i'm not completely healed, but im getting there.

Sunday, 21 June 2009


i watched the best man last night, and i cried myself to sleep after.
i've watched this movie at least a 30 times, no lie, but i never really got it till last night. it really is a beautiful movie and it made me realise something important.

lately i've been thinking hard, real hard which is never ever a good thing with me. and i've concluded that the situation i'm in...well it sucks, really sucks.

yesterday someone sent me a song, she said it reminded her of me, i didn't really like the song but i got the message.. "breaking these chains" thats what it said to me.
this week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, i went from sad to happy back to sad then to indifferent and now just really really sad.

so i decided i can't live like this anymore, i can't hope pray wish for something to happen even if it may happen. i don't like woulda-coulda-shoulda's so i never hope pray wish for anything, i never look to see what the future will-should-can-may hold for me. but for once i did and it was a mistake, a very big mistake.

my friend says everything happens for a reason, im not sure i believe that. i learnt this week
1. never to rely on people
2. never rely on someone else to make you happy
3. loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you
4. to stop being the idiot i've been
5. when doubts start to creep in, you MUST let go

im one of those people that believe love &heartbreak come together, i don't believe they are seperate, i believe that at some point in your life, someone you love will hurt you, it doesn't have to be something overwhelming, it could be the most trifling thing in the world but because you love, it hurts.

its wonderful to love, i love being in love, i love loving its the most wonderful feeling. its kind, its patient, its understanding, its forgiving, its sweet, its loyal, its supportive, its tolerant, its respectful.

but when it hurts. you feel like your world has just come crashing down. you feel so lost, so alone, everything is distorted, its not as it should be. you are left broken, damaged and you are all alone to pick up the pieces - that i think is the worst feeling ever.

i embrace both.

when i watched the best man last night, i saw what love for what it really is, i saw that no matter how many times someone fucks up, if they still love you and you them, you shouldn't give up on them.
i saw that fucking up should not destroy something, it should only make you realise how special what you have is, and how much you should preserve it.
i saw what woulda-coulda-shoulda type of love for what it was, it doesn't allow you to give yourself 100% to another, it prevents you from seeing whats right in front of you, even if in your mind you think its perfect, its not, because nothing is perfect.

this is the kind of love that is dangerous. it may end up being the wonderful feeling you want it to be. but the truth is that life happens and with life comes change, its inevitable, people change, things change, and when they do, that love will change. so hoping praying wishing for something that has changed is never sensible, its like hoping to go back in time.

so this is the question i've been asking all week, how do you when its the right time to let go? i figured when things change, let go, when you doubt, let go, when it doesn't feel right, its not right, so let go.

letting go is not very easy. i think its one of the hardest things ever. but in time everything will be fine. even if i know its true, i find it hard to believe.

but this is the battle i've been fighting with myself all weekend, i went out thursday night with a couple of the girlies, it was a lovely night. but then the thinking started. it went back and forth between religion &relationships. this is a story for another day lol its unhealthy really because i think im more confused than ever. i will not digress. for the moment, never again will i hope-pray-wish for anything again. i'm not saying i don't have goals, aspirations, wants, desires but i will create as many paths as i can to get them, but thats just me, i don't like rules, i dont like restrictions.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

mumblings.a hottie &a treat

so i finished my exams today.super excited but i'm a lil sad today...i should be sleeping but i think i have i havent slept in two days and today i've tried everything.i even washed my hair at 3.40 am so i could feel relaxed but nothing seems to be working *sigh* oh well.

lately i've been thinking mark ronson is such a hottie, like for real he sooo is yuuuumy...i've had his album - version - on repeat for a couple of days now...he is so love him. you should totally get that album if you don't have it. the only weird thing about him is that he's related to sam ronson (yes linsday's ex she boyfrend..i know strange) *shivers* thats so creepy, i can't imagine how they have the same mami & papi and she is so, well fucking weird lol.
ok enough of the randomness.

<< mark ronson

now for the purpose of this post...the treat..the amazingness that is CHRISTOPHER BAILEY!!!

Like for real he is one of my inspirations so when i saw this on selectism i just had to share. He is one of the most talented designers ever - i'm into the whole simple chic basic but oozing with luxury look (dunno if u get what i mean lol) , that's my thing and he never disappoints, especially those yuumy trench coats.... for anyone who doesn't know who he is (seriously doubt that lol) he is creative designer of burberry..which means he basically runs the whole show...designing for all of burberry's collection lines, ad campaigns, creative direction etc... what i love most about him is that he seems so humble and i'm not a big fan of burberry, but the transformation that he has done there in the eight years he worked for them, its nothing short of amazing, like burberry used to be dull with all the plaid nonsense lol, but now its just simple.nice.chic.luxurious - the perfect basic collection.

so check out the behind the scenes for the A/W 2009 Burberry Prorsum campaign. Photographer: Mario Testino
Designed by: duuuh Christopher Bailey
Star of the campaign: Actress - Emma Watson
Location: Westminster

This campaign already looks so fabulous like it has most my favourite things ever...B&W, male models, trench coats, christopher bailey...

christopher bailey (left)

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Screaming Bloody Murder...

...genocide, ethnic cleasing call it anything you want but this is just disgusting, as if the genocide in Bosnia, Rwanda and Cambodia aren't reason enough for everyone to know what happens when we leave all the situations until its to late - SMH
I feel deeply for the suffering going on in Darfur and I feel we (the whole world) owes it to them to help in any way we can.

This whole situation started in 2003 when a region - Darfur(comprised mostly of black people) decided it had, had enough of the neglect from the government and decided that they wanted a greater share in politcal power and for the government to address their poor living standards. And as most fucked up military governments will act they decide oh why don't we just get the army to kill off these muthafuckers who are interfering with our fucked up way of ruling rather than face other regions (also being neglected) rise up and try to challenge our governace - they called it a rebellion - I call it demanding their rights.

So far nearly half a million people have been killed, a further 2.5 million displaced. There has been mass execution, women being raped in front of their loved ones, men chained together and thrown into burning huts etc all this is by an arab militia sponsored and supported by the governement their job - to kill of the black people in Darfur, isn't this hatred surpassing the level of the KKK and all other weirdos who needed to kill black people to make them feel better about themselves.

Personaly i think the extent of the damage done is worse, when aid is not allowed and people will rather risk loosing their lives by leaving refugee camps because of lack of food to go back to where they will most likely be killed to get food, you have to know something is seriously wrong.

I don't think we need anymore evidence that these people are suffering at the hands of greedy hateful bastards and sadly, we are doing nothing about it.
I am so annoyed by this, labeling it the 'worst humanitarian crisis in the world today' doesn't do shit, its not a fucking humanitarian crisis its fucking genocide, i swear on that stupid list that the UN has on genocide and ways to prevent at stage - denial - thats when we (international community) are supposed to react and do something about it so I don't see why the whole world is just watching while this shit happen. (wiki it if you don't know what I'm talking about)

This is why when scientist research into stuff just to come out with random ridiculousness like black people are just genetically dumb, its in our DNA bla bla bla, I'm like is that really important to know (not that I accept it) but even if it was true how the fuck does that solve the problems in the world. Instead of using their research to find how to make better nuclear bombs to threaten the sudan gov into abondoning their crazy genocide antics they are using it to express how much they want to degrade black people, really what is wrong with the world?? - i swear i think scientists need a shrink or rehab or something to save them from this unhealthy attitude.

(Ignore the typo and any other errors, I was on a 30 mins break from studying - I have 2 exams on fri - wish me luck&& pray for me lol)
Oh and sorry for the pic, it makes me sad every time i see it.

Monday, 1 June 2009

Things I'm Grateful For

I am officially not a sixthformer anymore (as of last Friday) lol, like really haha but I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be.

My brother is gettin married soon in july, he was here for a week last week, I miss him, will never admit that to him.

My daddy is coming soon, in like a week im super excited, I'm a daddy's girl (and a mummy's girl too)

I have exams...I think im going to do well, even if I can't study and I've had this annoying flu

My baby is going to be one in July, still super excited

For the first time in nearly ten years my entire family will be in one place at once for at least a week, quite an achievement

I'm going to uni this year...finally TOTAL INDEPENDENCE from the rents

....those are the major things in my life I'm happy about and grateful for

Random I know.