act first, think later

my unofficial mantra

no i'm not nuts
ok maybe i am a little
but i don't go around chanting this
it just sort of always happens

then shit hits the fan
and i realise that my actions
have an impact on the lives of the 
people around me.

thats's when i realised, it probably
wasn't a good thing

riding the waves of my fuck ups

"speed through life in a purple haze

live fast, die young like Kurt Cobain"

somewhere inside i am trying to embrace that

my waves of fuck ups are a part of me.

nothing i can do about that

i fuck up a lot

i don't hide that

i'm confused most of the time

half the time my mind says one thing

my body does a completely different thing

"speed through life in a purple haze"

i make the worst decisions in the world

especially when i know better

maybe thats my demon

inability to do whats in my head to do

my body literally controls me

someone says i just need discipline

i think its self control

but i figure it would probably be easier to just

"...die young like Kurt Cobain"

Sometime I feel like I can't handle myself

Like I just fucking can't think or do anything right

damaged is what they call this

i think it happened a long time.
when I just got my heart broke
and now I just can't bring myself 
to feel anything for anyone

i think i'd want to feel something
like someone
really give myself again
but i find it so hard to get to that place