Wednesday, 20 May 2009

The One&So Many Others

This morning on my way to school I started thinking of marriage and the one, mostly because I read this book yesterday - Tell Me Something Adele Parks - beautiful read.

Who is this 'the one' is this someone who you are so emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with, someone who is your all, someone who you can't live without, someone who you need.want.desire, someone who is there for you, someone who is your partner is everything???
is it possible that only one person in the entire world with its 6.77 billion population, to me that just sounds silly.

I think that we are somehow restricted to who we marry, the people we meet, the people we see, the people we grow up with, work with, go to school with, somehow one of them ends up being our wive's/hubby's. But are these people 'the one' or do we just settle for the next best thing.
What if you live somewhere in a jungle, in some place in Africa and your 'the one' is some muslim girl, in some middle eastern desert who has already been bethrowed to some alhaji?? how do you marry this 'the one'

I think this idiocity that everyone is chasing, hoping and praying for, that they find 'the one' who will automatically make their lives so much better is absolute rubbish.
Just like a lot of things to me its a myth.
I believe that we have control over who we date/marry..I understand when people say oh the have to be emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with whoever they marry, I get that because I feel the same way

What I don't believe in is 'the one' I don't believe that out of the billions of people on earth we only have one soulmate

I know exactly what I want in a man& i will never settle
If and when I get married it has to be because I have found someone perfect for me
I will not say I will be married forever, because there are no gurantees in life
He might fuck up.I might fuck up.We might grow apart&if we do, I am not afraid of a divorce

&if he was 'the one' what do I do??

He wouldn't be 'the one'.He would have been someone perfect for me.But he's gone.So I will get up, cry, get my shit together,and live without him again, because before him I did it without him.

I think I can make whoever I choose to be what I want. I don't think there is the one. I do think I can find someone perfect for me.and if he leaves.I can always find another someone perfect for me.
In eseence there is no the one, to me there are 'so many others'


  1. Awesome post! It is all relative really, i think when ppl actually dissect the idea of "the one" they will realize that it is not that simple. some ppl are made for each other, but at one point or the other they had to work to get to that point. just like there is no such thing as 'love at first sight' the idea of 'the one' will have ppl chasing rainbows instead of trying to paint them. By nature human beings are not perfect, so for someone to delude themselves into thinking that there is Prince Charming the perfect man, their heartbreak is on their own head.
    U make a totally valid case for what if your "the one" is all the way across the world...? then what? so what do i believe...i believe that there are ppl that mesh together so well that they seem made for each other. 'The one' might just look good on paper but won't work in theory. Relationships between men and women should be approached in the same manner as other relationships like friendships...think about how many ppl you have called "best friends" only to find out you dont even have anything in common but then u turn around one day and meet a total stranger and you get this feeling like u 've known them your whole life and you can't evn imagine what your life was like before you met them.

    it is defintly laughable when ppl who are not even strong enough to have strong enduring friendships now suddenly ascribe to the idea of 'the one'. Hallmark cards unforuntly don't come with a warning nor do romantic movies. Love is awesome when it blossoms, but if you stay waiting for 'the one', u will fall for 'the not' cuz ur mind may be too specifically honed in on an ideal that only exists in fairy tales. But believe me no matter how much love hurts...when it is good, like really good, u will know u were made for each other....marriage is not for everyone. Know thyself.

    srry for the long

  2. lol no need to say sorry...and true story "no matter how much love hurts...when it is good, like really good"

  3. lmaooo... i loveeed this post you moronn!!
    "so many others"...true true!! Oh darlen u make me proud. I stopped searching for the 'one' ever since, now i just let destiny take its cause. wateva happens happens nt goin to be tied down in the future all cus' he might be the only one for me, omo if he fucks up, i get a divorce...I MOVE OVER TO THE NEXT "ONE"!

  4. i think there is more than one person for us out there.

  5. i personally dont believe in the one......

  6. Aaaaw ... I luv ths 1
    4 d very 1st time in ur life
    U've made sense .. yay!!!
    i joke ... i joke
    uno its all luv ...
    & i can say I learnt sumn 4rm ths post
    therz def. nt jus 1 person 4 us ...
    its jus d environment we all grew up in
    & we ve been made 2 believe therz jus 1 person 4 us
    n thts y evn wen ppl are suffern & strugglin in marriages...
    they dnt jus leave cuz thy believe thts *The One*