My pops says if a man wants you, tell him he has to work for you. You do not come cheap so he must treat you like you are his whole world, don't accept any less
I know what I want and I cannot accept any less, because to do so I will be compromising myself. This I cannot do because I am all I've got, so what will be left of me if at each bump or hurdle I compromise myself.
Its all about self esteem and self worth. You have to think highly of yourself and be confident in your abilities, you have to sing everyday I am the greatest if you truly believe that.
It is what you project of yourself that people will see, so if you show yourself to be a queen they will most certainly treat you like one.
I am not saying be proud, I am saying be arrogant..and yeah there is a difference.
You can be arrogant in your abilities but yet be humble.
Life is full of troubles, struggles and challenges (quote job 14) but it is also filled with happiness and prosperity. It is the sum of all these experiences that make you who you are.
It is then left for you to decide what you want to do with it your life. Are u going to let your troubles weigh you down? You cannot avoid problems, you just have to be prepared for them.
So don't ever let a man put you down, or tell you, you can't do this or you can't do that. Don't be worried that you won't find a man or you won't find another like the one you just lost.
The thing is there is always someone out there who will treat like you deserve to be treated (note that I didn't say want to be treated but deserve because its not always what we want that we need). He will find you.
My pops says a woman should be wooed, and her man must make her feel like she's on top of the world, he should provide for her, take care of her, protect her, cherish her.
You will always find this man.
You need to stop searching, instead focus on you, make yourself happy, build yourself up, because he can only come into your life when the time is right.
So until you are emotionally, physically and spiritually ready that special guy is not going to show so quit searching.
There are a lot of guys that are perfect for you at different stages of your life, but there will be that one guy who would fit like a glove.
But remember shit happens and you might need to fight to keep him other times you might just need to let go for another man to find you.
Quit looking, its his job to find you and if he does he won't ever let you go.
P.S: I wrote that for a friend. I hope you find what you are looking for.
sometimes i wonder why we act with so much caution, why do we think before we act, why we always want to act right, do what's right, try to avoid mistakes, take minimal risks...
and i'm not entirely sure why we act this way...
is it to avoid problems, is it to make sure that we don't go off the rails, is it to avoid getting hurt
but no matter what we do, we will still have problems, might still go off the rails, will still get hurt
its my birthday soon. and i'm not as excited as i should be. i'm getting older and people around me keep going on about it, then i realise i haven't done anything with my life, i've experienced very little.
i act with so much caution, keep myself safe, live only in my comfort zone because i refuse to allow myself feel so vulnerable. i like feeling safe. i can go only so far and then hold myself back, keep parts of me hidden.
keep muttering to myself...hold back, just a little.
i want to experience more, do more with myself.
being safe has made me lose things i wasn't ready to give up on
its made me not have what i want sometimes
i want a kind of care free life you know
going with the flow kind of thing
take more risks, keep my eyes closed and do things
why do we look to be perfect, when we will never be?
why do we want perfect, when it will never be?
why do we need perfection, when it will never be?
this is from a song i like...
"we're only human ohh yes we are"
i think its really important that we remember that, we sometimes get too caught up trying to make ourselves better, that we forget that we can only go so far...we weren't made to be perfect.
imperfections...
we are all imperfect
and this is what
makes us human
Hey, its been a while. I have exams and such and i'm burnt out.
studying has become a myth and other things have taken over.
i have my last exam tomorrow, somehow i will ace it.
I'm not going to Lagos, so I'm sad. I don't know why mother wants to stay here for Christmas its so boring. Its snowing which makes everything worse. I've been home for like four days and all I've done is stay in bed and watch glee.
I did go to see Law Abiding Citizen with my friend the other day, awesome movie. And we had nando's after..yummy :) I heart everything chicken.
I have nothing to blog about. I just wanted to rant about how shitty my holiday has been. Did I neglect to mention that I love twitter? omg! twitter is the best, after my phone of course. Twitter allows me to blow off steam so I have no reason to blog smh. I do have some drafts, I'm just not sure I'm willing to post them...yet. I may change my mind.
My friend asked me what was the use of a boyfriend? and I have to admit that question got me thinking. I haven't got an answer yet but when I do, I'll be sure to come back and tell.
Here are some random pics off my phone.
That was my dinner one day, didn't turn out as planned.
Did I mention that I make the best indomie ever?
My friend sent me that the other day, BEWARE GUYS!
Last night I had a sudden need to explain myself to someone, but I couldn't. I realised that although I am living I am yet to define myself. It is important to me to do this...
"If you don’t define yourself for yourself then you will be crushed into other's fantasies of you and eaten alive"- Audre Lorde
One of my favourite quotes ever. Its not an easy thing to define yourself for yourself especially when you cannot explain yourself. The quote reminds me everyday the importance of being true to yourself and expressing yourself the best way you can, ignoring the consequences.
Its important not to do things because of the fear of the consequences
Good things happen
but so do
Bad things
Deal with it we sometimes forget that the good comes with the bad
I don't believe in shielding yourself from pain
Thats not living
and it is important to me to
Live
not just exist but live.
I live by one rule - Love&Live, I say that to myself everyday. I think I am awesome, excuse my tone of conceitedness, actually scratch that I don't care.
Mediocre existence is not for me.
I mean how can there be so much out there and I will refuse to experience and feel all there is to experience, this is why I have a problem with people who don' t want to get heart broken; frankly it makes no sense to me.
Pain is essential to living, why? because its the opposite of love. and to have love you must have pain.
I want more than is handed to me. I need more than is handed to me.
But I digress. The point of this however, is to point out that I cannot define myself but I want to.
Its hard because I'm still searching for what is me.
I have strong opinions, but they change as I grow&learn more.
I have learnt a lot about myself this year, more than I have in the other 17years of my life
I have fears like everyone else, mine are just buried a lot deeper
I have aspirations like everbody else, they are just a lot more pronounced
I have dreams like everybody else, but unlike most mine comes with several plans
I will be a mighty big star one day, some day, some how
...eventhough it is necessary to define myself for myself, I don't have to do it right this very minute...I am still searching. So please understand when I say its not something I can explain, because I really do mean it literally.
I had a fun weekend doing nothing spent the time with my friend in nottingham, now I'm back to school totally swamped with work. I can wait for christmas but I can't wait for school to be over. I don't even know what I'm doing for christmas just yet...but I hope I do something fun. I already made a wishlist :) I'm hoping I get everything I want.
I think I should do something fun this weekend...need to de-stress, any ideas? oh that was from this weekend my girlies&i wanted to share.
&more random pics of my two favourite pairs of shoes &my friend jumai i ♥them all
Oh and here is the first thing of my wishlist earrings, i lost my pair of gold studs so I need new ones and I can't decide on which one I like more...opinions are very welcome.
“Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers." -Audrey Hepburn
I heard my bb vibrate from underneath my pillow, I thought it was my mum with her daily 'checking up on my baby' emails. So I ignored it for a while, angry that I'd woken up so early after all it was only 11.20 I didn't need to be up that early.
I got up layzed about the house a bit, and finally decided to read my emails..The first email I saw wasn't from mother....it was a reply to an email I had sent a million light years ago...ok that's an exaggeration it wasn't that long ago.
I read it pretty quickly, then i read it again just to be sure...
It brought back memories, memories to a time I would rather forget, memories of times when I would just sit and cry with so much pain
So I went upstairs to my room, took me a while to get there, my feet felt heavy, my heart felt weary, i was distraught, i'd been pushed back to a place where I was trying so hard to forget, I laid down and curled my self into a ball and cried...
cried till my eyes were red, cried till I had no more tears left to cry...then I thought about him
It had been a blissful couple of weeks the times we shared, it had been wonderful, I had loved and lived for our conversations...I had convinced myself that I was in love with this guy, I mean how could I not love him, he made me so happy and he was everything I wanted
But good things never last too long do they?
I read the email again...and I finally understood what she meant
Focus on yourself and your happiness, because if you don't let him go, he will be still controlling your happiness.
Funny thing is he was controlling my happiness and the sad thing is I let him do it, I mean every time I saw something about him or his girl or whatever, my heart would go all funny on me and I would hate him, then I would remember everything he said..
all the hoping and wishing for a time when we could be together, but then its like I had an epiphany, I'd been holding on to something that wasn't real anymore, holding on to false hope, and false dreams, but shit having a broken heart had to be the most emotionally damaging thing ever...
People have to be held responsible for their choices, and if he chose someone else, then he has to understand that he lost you as a result
I was coming to realise that holding out for him to somehow find his way back to me wasn't healthy, harbouring all this bad feelings towards him wasn't healthy, wishing that one day he'd catch on that I was the one for him was definitely not healthy
simply put i had to let go.
but shit wasn't easy.
still isn't
Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult
I made a promise to myself that morning, that if I was letting go, it meant no turning back.
I do not wish to erase my memories of him, rather I wish to feel all the hurt and the pain, because I know there will be such a time when this feeling will be but a distant memory, and my memories of him will be blurry.
It's really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don't want to let go
p.s: i'll put the wedding pics up soon, i promise.
p.p.s: this is dedicated to anyone who is going through a hard time
