Screaming Bloody Murder...

...genocide, ethnic cleasing call it anything you want but this is just disgusting, as if the genocide in Bosnia, Rwanda and Cambodia aren't reason enough for everyone to know what happens when we leave all the situations until its to late - SMH
I feel deeply for the suffering going on in Darfur and I feel we (the whole world) owes it to them to help in any way we can.



This whole situation started in 2003 when a region - Darfur(comprised mostly of black people) decided it had, had enough of the neglect from the government and decided that they wanted a greater share in politcal power and for the government to address their poor living standards. And as most fucked up military governments will act they decide oh why don't we just get the army to kill off these muthafuckers who are interfering with our fucked up way of ruling rather than face other regions (also being neglected) rise up and try to challenge our governace - they called it a rebellion - I call it demanding their rights.

So far nearly half a million people have been killed, a further 2.5 million displaced. There has been mass execution, women being raped in front of their loved ones, men chained together and thrown into burning huts etc all this is by an arab militia sponsored and supported by the governement their job - to kill of the black people in Darfur, isn't this hatred surpassing the level of the KKK and all other weirdos who needed to kill black people to make them feel better about themselves.

Personaly i think the extent of the damage done is worse, when aid is not allowed and people will rather risk loosing their lives by leaving refugee camps because of lack of food to go back to where they will most likely be killed to get food, you have to know something is seriously wrong.

I don't think we need anymore evidence that these people are suffering at the hands of greedy hateful bastards and sadly, we are doing nothing about it.
I am so annoyed by this, labeling it the 'worst humanitarian crisis in the world today' doesn't do shit, its not a fucking humanitarian crisis its fucking genocide, i swear on that stupid list that the UN has on genocide and ways to prevent at stage - denial - thats when we (international community) are supposed to react and do something about it so I don't see why the whole world is just watching while this shit happen. (wiki it if you don't know what I'm talking about)

This is why when scientist research into stuff just to come out with random ridiculousness like black people are just genetically dumb, its in our DNA bla bla bla, I'm like is that really important to know (not that I accept it) but even if it was true how the fuck does that solve the problems in the world. Instead of using their research to find how to make better nuclear bombs to threaten the sudan gov into abondoning their crazy genocide antics they are using it to express how much they want to degrade black people, really what is wrong with the world?? - i swear i think scientists need a shrink or rehab or something to save them from this unhealthy attitude.

(Ignore the typo and any other errors, I was on a 30 mins break from studying - I have 2 exams on fri - wish me luck&& pray for me lol)
Oh and sorry for the pic, it makes me sad every time i see it.

Things I'm Grateful For

I am officially not a sixthformer anymore (as of last Friday) lol, like really haha but I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be.

My brother is gettin married soon in july, he was here for a week last week, I miss him, will never admit that to him.

My daddy is coming soon, in like a week im super excited, I'm a daddy's girl (and a mummy's girl too)

I have exams...I think im going to do well, even if I can't study and I've had this annoying flu

My baby is going to be one in July, still super excited

For the first time in nearly ten years my entire family will be in one place at once for at least a week, quite an achievement

I'm going to uni this year...finally TOTAL INDEPENDENCE from the rents

....those are the major things in my life I'm happy about and grateful for

Random I know.

The One&So Many Others

This morning on my way to school I started thinking of marriage and the one, mostly because I read this book yesterday - Tell Me Something Adele Parks - beautiful read.

Who is this 'the one' is this someone who you are so emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with, someone who is your all, someone who you can't live without, someone who you need.want.desire, someone who is there for you, someone who is your partner is everything???
is it possible that only one person in the entire world with its 6.77 billion population, to me that just sounds silly.

I think that we are somehow restricted to who we marry, the people we meet, the people we see, the people we grow up with, work with, go to school with, somehow one of them ends up being our wive's/hubby's. But are these people 'the one' or do we just settle for the next best thing.
What if you live somewhere in a jungle, in some place in Africa and your 'the one' is some muslim girl, in some middle eastern desert who has already been bethrowed to some alhaji?? how do you marry this 'the one'

I think this idiocity that everyone is chasing, hoping and praying for, that they find 'the one' who will automatically make their lives so much better is absolute rubbish.
Just like a lot of things to me its a myth.
I believe that we have control over who we date/marry..I understand when people say oh the have to be emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with whoever they marry, I get that because I feel the same way

What I don't believe in is 'the one' I don't believe that out of the billions of people on earth we only have one soulmate

I know exactly what I want in a man& i will never settle
If and when I get married it has to be because I have found someone perfect for me
I will not say I will be married forever, because there are no gurantees in life
He might fuck up.I might fuck up.We might grow apart&if we do, I am not afraid of a divorce

&if he was 'the one' what do I do??

He wouldn't be 'the one'.He would have been someone perfect for me.But he's gone.So I will get up, cry, get my shit together,and live without him again, because before him I did it without him.

I think I can make whoever I choose to be what I want. I don't think there is the one. I do think I can find someone perfect for me.and if he leaves.I can always find another someone perfect for me.
In eseence there is no the one, to me there are 'so many others'

Music&Frustrations...

...that's what this playlist is called.
I'm so frustrated today, haven't really been to school much in the past 3 weeks so I have a lot of cathcing up to do, and the work is drowning me so music is where I find solace..here's the playlist

Picture Perfect - Adreena Mills
Slow - Jamie Foxx
Like a Star - Corrine Bailey Rae
Heartbreaker - Tank
Best I Ever Had - Drake
Kleptomaniac - Brutha
A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz
So beautiful - Musiq Soulchild
Chasing Pavements - Adele
She's Not You - Raheem Devaughn
Birthday Sex - Jeremiah
Bang Bang - Brutha
Freakin' Me - Jamie Foxx ft Marsha Ambrosuis
Violet Stars Happy Hunting - Janelle Monae
Sweetest Taboo - Sade
Disappear - Beyonce
Coyotes - Jason Mraz
Please Don't Stop The Rain - James Morrison
Be On You - Flo Rida ft.Ne Yo
Right Round - Flo Rida
Give It To Me Right - Melaine Fiona
The Way You Make Me Feel - MJ
Angel - Game ft. Common

What are you listening to? Let me Know..

Check out this band - Tinawiren if you are into blues and guitar playing that sort of thing...i found them while watching inside africa on cnn lol

They are some band from Mali somewhere....

Throwback Moment

I am going to do so many throwback moments from now on lol. I just found an old old picture album and the pictures are HILLARIOUS lol but I won't post the too embarrassing one's, actually scratch that I might just do that.

Yeah so throwback moment - I'll start from...my earliest scary moment.

My excuse for the picture is that I was young an naive lol...so I looked for the best pic to match the throwback moment and here it is *drumrolls please*



Thats me and puffin and thelittle person there is wahala inc. (lol thats my special name for her cuz i swear that girl is trouble), we were about 7ish 8ish in this

I was about 7 I think when I watched this movie Nneka, fuck! I'm even still scared talking about it now (does anyone remember that movie??) - the part that scared the crap out of me was the part when the cat turned into a woman in front of car *defining moment of my life* ever since then my faith in God has been unshackable - I was scared outta my mind after that movie for about a year >> I was scared to go upstairs by myself, stay anywhere by myslef, sleep in my bed (constatnt companion on mammi and papi's bed) to be honest I'm still scared.
And second scariest bit..when she was walking on the beach lol and saying Tony! Tony! Tony! like whoever wrote the scripts damn that's all I'm saying.

With a throwback memory comes a throwback song, one of my favourite oldies
Give it up for Etta James (gottta love that woman)

Is It Yours??

I don't have body insecurities, I'm happy the way I am. I'm petite and happy lol I don't wish to be taller, I don't wish to be fatter (anymore) so I don't take offence when people say omg your so small.

I don't work out
I don't eat right
Never liked fruits&Never will
I will only drink orange juice (mostly because my mum used to ram it down my throat when I was younger)
Most unhealthy person I know
I rarely drink water
I'm mostly have junk food over cooked food
I love my greasy fried food
I will not substitute my eating habits for a healthier one

I guess I'm one of those lucky fuckers that whatever they eat somehow doesn't show and trust me I am a big eater (not always been one but im reformed now and iLove food)

But today's post is about some stupid ignorant heffer who couldn't keep his mouth shut that got me all annoyed this wonderful sunday afternoon

He's always referred to my tummy as fat (it is not) this comment has only slightly annoyed me before now i just took as as a flippant-nothing-to-say-so-I'll-comment-about your-tummy-kinda comment but with the extra "..you know I would prefer it slimmer..." pissed me the fuck off.

You know what else took the piss he dropped the "...i want to make it mine" like oh lawdy lord, if not for puffin I'm sure I would have said somethings I would regret.

Even if he was my man does that give him the right to tell me that??? especially when it's not??
I am not one of those people that take comments to heart but this one pissed me off..cuz I was thinking ok so maybe you like me and in your weird twisted retarted way of thinking you think if I go out with you, my body becomes yours?? is that line of thought even logical, legal??
Note at this point I don't even like him so you must know how irritating I found this comment.

I don't think anyone would understand how the foolishness out of this boys mouth got on my nerves. I am me, I don't like people telling me what to do, even my parents, I do what I do when&how I want to. I don't ask for permission to do anything, never will. I am me just me, so for someone to make a stupid comment about my body and how they would prefer it......oh gosh I don't want to ramble on but this is a notice to everyone

I am no one's property..never have&never will be
I am my own
If I do get married I will still be my own
I look how I look because God made me that way
I am what I am because I allow myself to be that way
Never ever tell me how you would prefer me to look
because God help me
It only takes four muscles for me to bitch slap you upside your head
and trust me I will

Doodles

I'm on my bed extremely bored. I have a ton of work to do but I'm not in the mood, I haven't been to school for the past two days because I'm lazy, no motivation, I don't even know whats wrong with me all I want to do is sleep and eat I think I might be pregnant but I don't think thats possible.

But first of all let me introduce you guys to my baby>> Jemimah...she's the most beautiful baby on the planet.
She's learning how to talk and she's crawling too I'm so excited, I'm planning a super party for her 1st birthday lol. It's the day before my brothers wedding so my entire fam should be there so we will have a good time, but I need HELP on ideas please

ain't she adorable?

Oh and before I forget, I wanted to introduce you to my brother (Tai's) blog lol - www.tarealtalk.blogspot.com - for all of you who like to read/talk/think about important stuff he's your guy but a bit of a sporadic blogger - blame his job and endless partying.

And btw, I'm going to start throwback posts very soon -funny, sad, embarrassing, scary, defining moments of my life. I just need to find all the pictures and it will be sorted.

It's my brothers birthday soon, he's turning 27 so I need help picking out a present for him, I want something memorable...

And if anyone knows where I can find a 1965 mustang please let me know

I thought...

...about you yesterday and I cried.

I cried because I miss you.
I cried because you are not here to talk to.
I cried because I haven't thought about you in ages.
I cried because I remembered your funeral

I miss you so much my big boyfriend.
I miss how you used to call me your little girlfriend, our little inside joke.
I miss going to your house every sunday I was home with mum
I miss lying on your bed together talking
I miss you forcing me to eat

I wish you where here yesterday, Puffin turned 18, yes g.pa your little babies are grown
I wish you were here for my birthday
I wish you could be here in the summer when Tomi get's married
I wish you could see my baby Jemimah now, she's so big and she's learning to talk

I'm sad I wasnt there that summer when you died
I'm sad that I didn't have more time with you
I'm sad that you are not here to talk to me anymore

I pray I have a son, so I can name him after you
and I hope he will be just like you
Kind
Sweet
Tolerant and
Loving

I miss you grand pa and I know you are watching over us



My lovely g.pa and my cousin

We are not all equal get the fuck over it!!

Now I can almost breathe, I have nearly finished my ICT coursework...it has taken me a month of endless sleep deprived nights, filled with staring at a computer screen for nearly 16 hrs almost daily, constantly skipping *Dave's economics lessons* to keep up with the pace (only an excuse really I hate his lessons...so boring), neglecting all my law & eco work, but it is has nearly come to an end and I'm almost happy except, for the piece of info my aunty just gave me; because 5 people in a school have swine flu all the alevels people won't have their exams, they can just sit back get their predicted grades and well go to uni in Sept??? I hope I'm not the only sane one left on the planet but are they mad??? like come on that is sooooo unfair, how can I be here slaving my ass off everyday not sleeping more than 3hrs a day but some mofo's don't have to do that to get into uni, so once again the law makers in this country are silly because that has to be the second most stupid decision ever after taxes.

Why should they get off, if they are then everybody else should, so yes mr education minister whoever you are, you will be getting a letter from me. I demand not to do my a level exams if some people are getting off because I'm on the verge of going crazy with work.

Which brings me to today's post...WE ARE NOT ALL EQUAL GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!! I am a firm believer in my theory, I don't think that for a second that everyone should be treated the same because they are not the same, I don't see why the rich should have an obligation by law to take care of the poor, its not their fucking fault but if they choose to then by all means go for it.

My last post about taxes when bob-ij said "But it's supposed to facilitate equality of income" oh lawdy lord my reflex action of counter arguements went off in my head while I was supposed to be putting the finishing touches to my coursework so here I am voicing them out.

Everyone in the world was born for a purpose, believe it or not, some where born to shine, some where born to shadow, some where born to be rich some were not, its a fact get used to it. The point im trying to make is that, people who make money should not have to pay so much taxes to help keep the benefits line going because some lazy ass mofo somewhere who can be bothered to fuck enough to get herself 6 kids cannot be bothered to get a job so what does the governement do supply her with a 6 bedroom house. How insane is that??? like really WTF!!! there are so many people who struggle to make this good money who have so many debts to pay but because of taxes it will take a long time, they can't have a six bedroom house why?? because some hefffer with six kids who can't get off her lazy ass to get a job, got it. If it was that she was working but not enough money then benefits like child benefits will come on handy.

It's things like this that get me so pissed off, the sooner the world realises that there will be NO EQUALITY the better for us, then we would start to deal with issues realistically. I am not against benefits for people who genuinely need it, but I am not for it when it becomes a life style for people. People say oh the gov needs taxes to facilitate the defence well fuck it they dont need someone's 50% to do that; maybe if they used the money for worthwhile reasons like serious educational reforms (rather than giving out EMA to people who only come to school for EMA not to actually learn anything), more funds for the NHS, less fucking benefits then maybe people who spend Jan - June working for the government (yes that how long people who pay taxes work for the gov) will feel better about helping out poor people instead of making life so damn hard for them.

And maybe developed countries will realise that the fucking problem we have in Africa is not that we don't have enough mosquito nets it's because there is no fucking management of our money, so hopefully they will stop sending those foolish nets that don't even work properly but help us with a revolution so we can do away with these greedy monsters that rule our countries and then maybe we will start to see changes.

Now I seriously seriously need to finish my coursework....

Shouting Quietly

LOL this is actually a completely random post because I'm bored and I hate doing homework and coursework in fact I hate school, if not that my mum is a total control freak and will never allow her only daughter to drop out of school, I would have quit school a long long time ago.

So I do random thinks like check up new words every couple of days, and while I was doing that today, I remembered last year in my law class, how my teacher was saying that parliament or something like that where complete bonzo's saying market sellers should shout quietly because of office workers, as apparently they where disturbing with their shouting.

How the hec does one shout quietly, isn't shouting supposed to be loud, to cause an uproar, for it to be an outcry etc...so how does one shout quietly...lol so I have decided that law makers in this country have to be one of the silliest people on the planet, they make stupid laws that make life so incovenient. Remember when the budget thingy came out how they are making people who earn over £150 grand pay 50% tax..........fuck no! lol i plan on being so paid and I'm not sure after my extensive expensive schooling and going to boring maths class and slugging through endless essays and shitty IT lesson, hearing the yelling of my law and economics teachers, going to uni to spend the next 3 - 4 yrs of my life getting a piece of paper (by that I mean a degree) I would probably not use, then get MY money and then give half of MY money to the government, call me selfish but again fuck no, I refuse to infact I think I'll move to monaco.
How selfish is the gov telling people to give away half of their money kmt, I don't blame people for tax evasion seriously lol, it shouldn't be a crime it should be the fucking law.

So yes, that was me shouting quietly.