Sunday, 31 January 2010

one life.

sometimes i wonder why we act with so much caution, why do we think before we act, why we always want to act right, do what's right, try to avoid mistakes, take minimal risks...

and i'm not entirely sure why we act this way...

is it to avoid problems, is it to make sure that we don't go off the rails, is it to avoid getting hurt

but no matter what we do, we will still have problems, might still go off the rails, will still get hurt

its my birthday soon. and i'm not as excited as i should be. i'm getting older and people around me keep going on about it, then i realise i haven't done anything with my life, i've experienced very little.

i act with so much caution, keep myself safe, live only in my comfort zone because i refuse to allow myself feel so vulnerable. i like feeling safe. i can go only so far and then hold myself back, keep parts of me hidden.
keep muttering to myself...hold back, just a little.

i want to experience more, do more with myself.
being safe has made me lose things i wasn't ready to give up on
its made me not have what i want sometimes

i want a kind of care free life you know
going with the flow kind of thing
take more risks, keep my eyes closed and do things
not thinking about the consequences
experience things

we only get one life.
and i want to live it.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

perfection pointless.

why do we look to be perfect, when we will never be?
why do we want perfect, when it will never be?
why do we need perfection, when it will never be?

this is from a song i like...

"we're only human ohh yes we are"

i think its really important that we remember that, we sometimes get too caught up trying to make ourselves better, that we forget that we can only go so far...we weren't made to be perfect.


we are all imperfect
and this is what
makes us human

Hey, its been a while. I have exams and such and i'm burnt out.
studying has become a myth and other things have taken over.
i have my last exam tomorrow, somehow i will ace it.

Oh and this is for roc
yes he does...and i am trying.